The work I do
Renting out my brain since 1992
8 - 12 session therapy
I like to look at the past and see how it's impacting the present. I just don't think it's a good idea to stare. Let's also look at some of the big decisions you've made to rewrite the past. And let's dig in to see what decisions you can make today to get from relief from what's ailing. Ketamine literally grows new neuronal pathways to help us change.
adhd coaching
As a person with ADHD I love to watch folks like me shed years of shame just by learning more in detail all the subtle ways it shows up. We are WAY more than an attention deficit.
couples coaching
I'm looking for couples who have stopped screaming or threatening divorce and are ready to pull up their sleeves and work hard to shift to better ways to communicate. I'll be pushy from day 1 but always with a lot of empathy and love.
partner with your therapist
Some therapy just needs a boost. I work with other therapists when you're feeling stuck. We'll use legal psychedelics to break through some of the obstacles then back to your therapy.
blurb about how i work and who I am
I do A LOT of detective work so we can both better understand your brain ◆ I like to help you become curious about your own behaviors, choices, and drives ◆ I'll help you uncover multiple motivations for things - even contradictory ones ◆ I'll keep us focused on goals and revisit them regularly ◆ Au fait je suis bilingue en français ◆MORE AbOUT ME: ◆ I first studied Political-science and journalism. ◆ I traveled around the world writing about everything but human psychology ◆ During the AIDS crisis I coached and trained hundreds of patients and providers in over a dozen hospitals throughout Southwestern France ◆I got a dual masters in Clinical and Social Psychology ◆ I had fun working with kids (and their families) in San Francisco area schools for 5 years. ◆ Moved to a low fee clinic in the Haight Ashbury for adults and couples dealing with depression, addiction, intimacy difficulties ◆ Then opened my own practice in the SF Bay Area ◆ I get incredible joy out of the work I do.
the small print
The part where I tell you why I'm qualified to help.
education
MA in Clinical & Social Psychology ◆ BA in Humanities, ◆ Certificate in Poli-Sci Journalism ◆ Oodles of training from The Couples Institute (check them out!)
experience
15 years of one-on-one and couples work ◆ 5 years with teens in schools ◆ 11 years with docs, nurses and patients in hospitals and hospice
Affiliations
I'm a member in good standing of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists
licensing
I'm licensed by the State of California's Board of Behavioral Sciences - under license number MFC50072.
(yesterday's) quick fixes
Some favorites I encounter: 14 hr work days, midnight fridge raids, right-handed visits to the net, extra-conjugal excitement, an undying fascination with food and exercising, all spiced up with a substance or three. At some point we either a) get busted or b) discover these don’t cut the mustard anymore. I teach folks how their brains work and why these behaviors are so sticky. But our decision to pull away can seem impossible because it means we'll have to deal with some serious discomfort. No pain no gain in this arena since our brains love repetition and not discomfort. I'll teach you about the pleasure circuits and how they work, about hormones and neuronal pathways. Together we'll find research based strategies that will help make change happen. Often this goes hand in hand with looking at some early learning - whether we like it or not we are creatures of habit. I have a pretty good track record for helping people find a lot more room to breathe so they have the freedom to choose from at least two options.
Read Morejudge judy in my head
For some reason we totally forget the 3 compliments we received in the day and hang onto the one frosty bit of feedback. We wake up with and —try to— fall asleep with a voice that's not always our best buddy. We read the expert study that says changing our attitude will make things better and of course we think: "That'll never work" or "Well that only works for other people.” or “That would have worked but….” We smile but this can be a living hell. My experience is this often happens among thoughtful people; folks who choose to live an examined life but then at times it gets a bit too examined. Part of the good news: because these not-so-helpful thinking patterns can affect our mood, our choices, our posture, our relationships we can also come at them from different angles. Together we'll identify the pay-off in sticking with the old thinking pattern. We'll develop exercises to slow it down or to at least head it off at the pass. Together we'll find the ones that best fit your world so you can practice.
Read Morethe intimacy dance
Working with couples is really its own beast. Because our primary relationships are the place where stakes are the highest —will I get loved or rejected? — they are fertile, I mean FERTILE, ground for making healthy change happen in our lives. And as we know they’re the place where we get to see all our crap rear its ugly head. It’s why I’ve been training for years with couples counseling pioneers Ellyn Bader and Pete Pearson to perfect my work. I leverage my extraversion to get couples communicating better relatively quickly. Once we get that pump primed then we focus on how each member of the couple plans to stretch in order to make their life better (which then impacts couple and the family). Sometimes I use this with parent-child or siblings even. I’ve pretty much seen it all.. . both as a therapist and as a member of a couple whose been in therapy. Contact me and let me know what are the ways you want to go deeper in your couple but —and perhaps primarily-- in your own life.
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